Johnny Damon

I had no idea that he was thinking of leaving the Red Sox. That is how little attention I pay to sports these days. Yet when Patrick informed me this morning that he was going to play for the Yankees I literally almost started to cry. And it took me a minute to figure out why I would care enough to cry. But then it hit me.

This is another change that Joe isn't here to witness. I realize that I think of events in terms of BJD (before Joe died) and AJD (after Joe died). This happens with small things, such as a song will come on the radio, and my first thought is, "This song is from BJD" or "Joe never got to hear this song because it's from AJD." But it also happens with big things, like new babies being born. I often think about milestones with Jacob and can't always remember if they are from BJD or AJD. Like, I know Jacob wasn't walking yet when Joe died, but was he standing? Was he eating real food?

I always feel better thinking that Joe was still alive for certain events, and it crushes me to think about all that's happened since he's been gone.

Soon it will be 2006. Joe never lived a day in 2005, but I could still say that he was alive last year. In a couple of weeks, that will no longer be true. So many things have happened since Joe died. Yet I still hang on to the things that remain the same. That may not make sense to anyone, but if it's still the same, then it couldn't be that long ago that Joe died.

Now Johnny Damon will no longer be a member of the Red Sox. One more thing that has happened AJD.

-B