More Random facts

1. My first boyfriend was named Andrew and he lived in Roslyn, NY. I met him on a cruise during my freshman year of high school. We spent the whole week together and I fell in love. We continued "dating" for a few months after the cruise. he used to write me the cheesiest love letters that Owen would read to my study hall classmates. I loved those letters, cheesy as they were. I visited him in NY during my April vacation, but he broke up with me in May. We met up again the following February vacation on another cruise. I was dating Joe at the time, but couldn't resist kissing Andrew. I confessed to Joe upon my return home and he was mad at first, but forgave me when I told him that Andrew told me that my kissing skills had greatly improved since I started dating Joe. I googled Andrew recently and he is a therapist in San Francisco. he works with abused children using yoga as therapy.

2. I love carbs. Give me a big bowl of pasta, a bagel with cream cheese, crusty french bread with butter, or a bowl of rice krispies. It's all good. If I could change one eating habit I have, it would be to cut out carbs. But that's really all I like to eat. Meat does nothing for me, and in fact, it often grosses me out. My typical lunch this year has been a bowl of cereal and a bagel.

3. I have had 4 dogs in my life, including Brooklyn. The first dog was named Molly. She was very sweet, and well behaved, but was hit by a truck and killed. My next dog was Joey, and he was crazy. We didn't keep him for very long. My third dog was Emma (long before the name became trendy). We got Emma when I was in the 5th grade, and I immediately fell for her. She was very sweet, and very cute, but was never trained properly. She would escape our backyard and chase people. She would pee and poop everywhere in the house, and chewed furniture. She had major anxiety issues, and the older she got, the worse her behavior became. When I was in the 9th grade we ended up giving her away. I was so sad and mad at my mom. Brooklyn reminds me a bit of Emma. As crazy as she makes me, I hope to keep her for the long haul. No promises, but I'm going to try.

4. When I go to the movies I like to sit in the back row, which drives most people nuts. The reason for this preference, is that I hate when people talk in the movies. It drives me crazy! But I notice it most if the talking/noise comes from behind me. If I am in the back, the chances of me being annoyed by noise is significantly less than if I am in the middle of the theater. Last night T and I went to the movies and saw a great little movie.
I wanted to sit in the back row, but T wanted to sit smack dab in the middle of the theater. Sure enough there was an older couple sitting directly behind us. The movie started, and apparently the husband wasn't aware that the movie had subtitles. Every few minutes I would hear "What does that say?" "Why are their subtitles if they are speaking English?" They actually weren't that bad once the movie got going, so the seats ended up fine, but if the talking had continued I would have had to say something to them, or move, otherwise the movie would have been intolerable.

5. I moved off campus my sophomore year of college, and I think that was a big mistake. I loved my freshman year, and felt like I had many close friends and was part of a community. For some reason I became obsessed with the idea of getting an apartment the following year. I moved out with a friend, and we had a really nice apartment in a really bad neighborhood. I became a commuter, and never really fit in at school. If I could do it again, I would have stayed on campus at least another year.

-b

5 random facts about me
inspired by Patrick's suggestion
hopefully I've never shared these facts before
If you like them, I'll write 5 more

1) When I was a kid, I used to hide under my bed and say a prayer every time it rained heavily. Now I don't hide under my bed, but I still get just as anxious. Sometimes I will lay in bed and put the covers over my head and hope that when I wake up the rain will have stopped. I have no idea where this rain anxiety came from, but think it may stem from a movie I watched as a kid where it rained so hard, all living things died and oceans were formed. I know, I have issues. But when I look at things like this I can't help but think one day soon my fears will become a reality.

2) Sometimes I miss the freedom of being fat. (Not that I'm what you'd call skinny now, but I don't think I'm fat either.) That may sound really odd, because there isn't too much that allows you to be free when you're fat. It was hard to go clothes shopping, I often felt insecure, and I hated how I looked. But I ate whatever I wanted, and sometimes I miss that freedom. I hate worrying about what I might gain if I eat a croissant, or a bowl of ice cream. I haven't eaten ice cream since I started my diet last summer! When I'm walking down the aisle at the grocery store I look at the Breyer's Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream with such longing, I can practically taste it on my tongue. But instead I buy weight watchers desserts, or skinny cow desserts, which are tasty and low in points, but not at all the same as Breyer's mint chip. I'm thinking those of you who have struggled with weight will relate, but maybe tis is more of me being crazy.

3) Sometimes I get through an entire day without thinking about Joe. Other days I can't get him off of my mind at all. Every story, every song, every joke, every person on tv all remind me of him. The days when I don't think of him at all are much easier days, but when I think of him I typically don't even get sad anymore. He's become a happy, distant memory for the most part. I'm thankful for that.

4) I'm a little worried about my trip to Montreal this April. Typically April is a very hard month for me. The past three years I have sunk into a deep depression for the whole month, as it is the build up to Joe's death anniversary. April vacation is usually the hardest week of all. I get very moody, cry easily, and don't want to talk. What if this happens while I am away with T? Can I escape this pattern by going away? I certainly hope so.

5) This morning I dropped the boys off at their babysitter's house. Their preschool is closed for the day. They undid their seatbelts, got out of their carseats, opened their doors (power sliding, but still), got out of the car, walked up to the door and rang the bell. Their sitter opened the door and waved at me. I drove away thinking, "How did I get to this point?" My kids have become so independent, and I love it! I'm terrified of starting over with a new baby, and if T and I get married, we will (hopefully) have a baby together. I know that it will be wonderful, but we just got to the easy part! I never even had to put the car in park! How to go back to infant seats, and diapers, and bottles, and night feedings.