Tuesday, February 21, 2006

More Haiku For Leslie :O)

What actually got me started writing haiku about feelings, versus nature, as they are intended, was a thread on the widow board. It was in Sept. that this thread was started, and I posted 6 of them. Someone ressurected the thread for Valentine's Day. It was interesting reading my old haiku. I wish I could say I'm in a much different state of mind than I was then, but.... anyways, here they are:

alone all the time
my heart torn I'm inside out
please bring him back now

my boys make me smile
how proud their daddy would be
what a gift he left

how are you? they ask
*feeling very down today*
"I'm fine" I reply

holding me in bed
body to body we lay
oh how I miss that

let's go see daddy!
anticipation is great
picnics at his grave

please bring him to me
one more night is all I ask
we don't deserve this

8 comments:

Highlandgal said...

Ow, those make my heart hurt.

emotional girl said...

i agree, they hurt the heart but are so real and honest.thank you for sharing them. how true is the "i'm fine" one. i wonder why we do that...is it for the people asking as not to make them feel bad for asking? or is it for us, hoping to convince ourselves that we are?

b said...

Emotional girl, I think it's because in our society, people ask that question as a greeting, not really looking for an answer.

There's a woman in my support group who moved here from Belgium. she was really taken aback by the casualness of that question in America. She says that in Belgium, if someone asks you how you are, they really want to know the answer. Otherwise they don't ask.

Here people ask and continue walking. It's crazy. (and yes, I'm guilty of this as well) And "I'm fine" is the answer we all expect to hear while we continue walking away.

For a while I wanted to wear a sign on my shirt that said "do not ask me how I am, because I'm doing really shitty." But I didn't think that would go over so well at work, so instead I tell them what they want to hear.

Jeez, that was a long answer. I could write a whole post about it!

ramblingmuse said...

I like your haikus.

This one was sad...and moving.

Thanks for sharing!

StringMan said...

Sweet, B. Keep writing. It's good.

Mrs. G.F. said...

Awesome..

the picnic one is incredible, tells and entire story...

*hug*

b said...

Thanks guys!

SM, when the weather is nice, we have regular picnics at Joe's grave. We typically get McDonald's drive thru. Jacob likes to "share" his fries with Joe. He literally holds a fry to the stone, then puts it in his mouth.

It's a nice routine, but breaks my heart every time we enter the cemetery and the boys get so excited to see their daddy.

I'm sure it will be fodder for future therapy visits for them both. ("the only time we were allowed to eat McDonald's was at the cemetery" "My mom made me share my food with my dead father") etc...

M said...

Everyone needs a reason to go to therapy...

You are a talented writer. You so amazingly put yourself out there for us.

It's funny but my two favorites are about the boys - about Joe being proud, and the picnics. He would definitely be proud - of them, and you. You are an amazing mom. They won't need therapy because of you. :o)