Conversation With My Two Year Old
J: (pointing to tv) That's Dora's daddy. I don't have a daddy.
b: You have a daddy sweetie. He loves you very much. Sometimes we visit him.
J: Oh right. At the cemetery.
b: Right. And also, he's in heaven watching you.
J: Oh right. Heaven. He's in heaven and at the cemetery.
b: Right. But he so wishes he was here with you.
J: I like going to the cemetery.
b: I know sweetie.
I know that in many ways it's easier that the boys have no memory of their father. But Joe loved them so much. I mean he looked at Jacob in a way that he hadn't looked at anything. And Jacob doesn't remember it. He doesn't remember his daddy. And that sucks.
b: You have a daddy sweetie. He loves you very much. Sometimes we visit him.
J: Oh right. At the cemetery.
b: Right. And also, he's in heaven watching you.
J: Oh right. Heaven. He's in heaven and at the cemetery.
b: Right. But he so wishes he was here with you.
J: I like going to the cemetery.
b: I know sweetie.
I know that in many ways it's easier that the boys have no memory of their father. But Joe loved them so much. I mean he looked at Jacob in a way that he hadn't looked at anything. And Jacob doesn't remember it. He doesn't remember his daddy. And that sucks.
10 comments:
B, that stinks, there is no other way around it. But they know that you love them more than gold!
I wish I could just squish you all in big giant hugs!! Until then, just imagine BIG GIANT SQUISHY HUGS!!!!
It'll never stop tugging at your heart...they are soooo lucky to have you, but you know I know how much it hurts. Just keep being open and honest with them and of course keep letting them know how much you love them.
Sorry, B.
*hugs*
The essence of Joe's love is there. I know it's not the same, but it's there.
Love ya,
RM
J is such a cool kid (which one are we talking about here? Josh or Jacob?) Anyway, the fact that he just calmly mentions he likes going to the cemetary is just the coolest thing. He's going to see his daddy and that means so much to him whether or not he can see him is immaterial.
Why is it so easy for a child to understand this and yet so hard for adults to do so?
It does suck. But I agree with Kristi, they know how much you love them.
You'll keep Joe's memory alive with stories and pictures and visits to the cemetery.
I know that's not enough. But I know you can do it...
*deep sigh*
It just sucks, completely. It makes me want to cry with you.
((B))
I'm sorry b -- I can't imagine all the things you have to go through daily, especially with the boys. You seem so level-headed and strong -- thank God they have a mom like you!
Thanks everyone! And LW, it was about my older son, Jacob.
*hugs*
*hugs*
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