A Poll
I'm curious as to what your opinion is on the following dilemma.
A woman I work with is a self-acclaimed matchmaker. She has been telling me all year that she has the perfect match for me. He's 34, an attorney, and Jewish. His mother would be a mother-in-law to die for. (her expression, not mine.)
Recently I gave her the go ahead to match us up.
Last week she came into my classroom with his name and phone number. She informed me that I needed to call him, because he was a bit gun shy about the whole thing.
I asked her if that meant he wasn't interested. She said no, but he needs a little convincing about the whole kid part. But his mother thinks I'm perfect for him, and so does she, so just call him.
Well I didn't call him. Today the same teacher came back to my room to find out if I called him. I told her that I really wasn't interested in convincing someone to go on a date with me.
She told me that she's sure we a perfect for each other, and that I really need to ask him out for coffee.
Thoughts? Opinions? What would you do?
-b
edited to add: the teacher comes in to teach math every so often :O) (how's that , Mel?)
A woman I work with is a self-acclaimed matchmaker. She has been telling me all year that she has the perfect match for me. He's 34, an attorney, and Jewish. His mother would be a mother-in-law to die for. (her expression, not mine.)
Recently I gave her the go ahead to match us up.
Last week she came into my classroom with his name and phone number. She informed me that I needed to call him, because he was a bit gun shy about the whole thing.
I asked her if that meant he wasn't interested. She said no, but he needs a little convincing about the whole kid part. But his mother thinks I'm perfect for him, and so does she, so just call him.
Well I didn't call him. Today the same teacher came back to my room to find out if I called him. I told her that I really wasn't interested in convincing someone to go on a date with me.
She told me that she's sure we a perfect for each other, and that I really need to ask him out for coffee.
Thoughts? Opinions? What would you do?
-b
edited to add: the teacher comes in to teach math every so often :O) (how's that , Mel?)
19 comments:
Um, needs a little "convincing" about the whole kid thing? Excuse me?????
Your instincts are right on. Don't call him. If your friend wants to continue to work on him behind the scenes, well, fine. But I also don't think you want to put yourself in the position of CONVINCING someone to go out on a date with you.
Well put K.
He doesn't know what he's missing. :o)
no thanks. He can call you if he wants. Why look for trouble?
I have to agree with everyone..you shouldnt have to convince someone to date you....and the kid issue...its a package deal if he is not sure about the kid thing let him pass.
No poll needed; the "matchmaker" is no Yenta.
I vote for call him. Is your social calendar full? Most men aren't "seeking" a woman with two children. But he may decide that your kids are adorable.
If you're going to carry negative feelings on your first date, forget it. But if you can keep an open mind, despite the "set-up." I'd say try it.
I'm surprised at my own response to this, but I agree with HGal. What do you have to lose? I mean, yes, I wouldn't want to make that first call either, but you know, once he meets and maybe gets a different opinion, THEN you can step back and allow him to pursue you. Besides, just make a phone call and introduce yourself. No one said you actually had to ask him to lunch or anything. If the call goes well, you can still hold back and let him plan a date.
Either way you choose, don't fret. Good luck! :-)
I'd have to side with Rebecca. I wouldn't consider it "convincing" him to go out on a date with you. If he needed "convincing," then he wouldn't be interested at all. Rather, he's probably also not sure about what you're like and if you are into a blind date. I vote to call.
Don't call.
So far the vote is 7 for no, 4 for yes. I will keep the polls open until tonight, and will go with the majority. (No voting twice)
Thanks for the votes so far!
This is a toughie -- if the deal is that you have to call him, then no. I agree that that is sort of weird. On the other hand, if something changes and the date gets set up without you having to call and feel awkward, then I'd go for it.
Well, at first I was "NO, don't call."
Then I read some of the other opinions, and then thought, "well, maybe call. Call if you feel like it."
If I went back in my mind to when I wasn't married, and didn't have kids; I def. wouldn't have chosen to go out with someone with kids. It would be intimidating.
I def. don't think you should convince anyone, but what would it hurt to ask someone for coffee? The worst thing he could say is ,"No."
So my vote? If you feel like it, call. If not, don't. And don't take it personally that he is nervous about being involved with someone with kids; he's being honest. Already a quality I like.
I think that there is no harm in making a phone call if YOU are interested in getting to know someone at this time in your life.
Sometimes people (I think) try to be supportive of you in many wonderful ways. However, showing that you are supportive does not necessarily mean setting you up with an "ideal" candidate for your future. Especially one who's mother is involved with his dating choices. I know I can be a bit harsh, but since he's so shy, does he want his mom to call you for him? (I only feel this way because I care about you and want the best!!! Who knows, we have a 50/50 shot between a wonderful person and a not so great guy)
The bottom line (from my perspective)-if you want to take that step and make the call, go for it. I support you. Just use caution in opening yourself up to the two different paths that one phone call can take.
I say call give him a chance....really what would one date hurt. If he sucks then don't bother again.....N
I vote to call, its probably harmless and you may end up meeting a wonderful man or at least a freind in the process. Let us know what transpires of course.
You never know what could have happened unless you call!!!!!
Well I have held off commenting because I was waiting to see what the all knowing Walt had to say!;-)
I think you should call him. Maybe if nothing else he has a friend who doesn't need to be convinced.
Sounds tempting, but I'm with you. If he is too shy to even make a
phone call, it is his loss.
Greets to the webmaster of this wonderful site! Keep up the good work. Thanks.
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