A Poem
I wish I could put my feelings
into words
but
there are no words to do my feelings
justice
so
I apologize if I seem off
if I do not answer the phone
if I do not return emails
When you ask me how I am
(and by you I mean no one
in particular)
Please don't make me answer
For
I have no idea what the answer is
I am every emotion
you could possibly imagine
mixed in one
and
the worst part is
the guilt I feel
for moving on
for feeling happy
for sometimes
(lots of times)
feeling happier than before
and then there's the
emptiness
that feeling in my heart
that hole that I'm not sure
will ever be filled
the memories that feel like yesterday
and feel like a lifetime ago at
the same time
If only I could go back in time
two years ago today
How I would wrap my arms around him
I would hold on for dear life
I would just stay like that for the three remaining weeks
3 weeks remaining
2 years gone by
I wish I could put my feelings
into words
This will have to do
I wish I could put my feelings
into words
but
there are no words to do my feelings
justice
so
I apologize if I seem off
if I do not answer the phone
if I do not return emails
When you ask me how I am
(and by you I mean no one
in particular)
Please don't make me answer
For
I have no idea what the answer is
I am every emotion
you could possibly imagine
mixed in one
and
the worst part is
the guilt I feel
for moving on
for feeling happy
for sometimes
(lots of times)
feeling happier than before
and then there's the
emptiness
that feeling in my heart
that hole that I'm not sure
will ever be filled
the memories that feel like yesterday
and feel like a lifetime ago at
the same time
If only I could go back in time
two years ago today
How I would wrap my arms around him
I would hold on for dear life
I would just stay like that for the three remaining weeks
3 weeks remaining
2 years gone by
I wish I could put my feelings
into words
This will have to do
-b
3 comments:
Ugh. It is amazing how your body remembers it all.
My Mom always said that. She's lost a lot of people in her life, and when she was a Mom with young children, sometimes she'd lose track of the date. And on those importanat days, she'd feel like crying and just felt horrible. Then she would look at the calendar, and there it was, the day she lost her mother. Her body always remembered.
hugs, b, many,many hugs
You are an incredible writer. Thank you for opening up to us.
More hugs.
You wish you could put your feelings into words but this'll have to do? Um, sweetie, you nailed it. Maybe it's just 'cause I've been there...but I SO get what you're trying to say. Those days leading up to an anniversary are SO tough. You're at such a weird stage...yep, there's lots about life that's really good, but that intense longing for your husband is still there too.
Know that lots of us love you, okay?
K.
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