UGH!
I'm doing it again.
I've for whatever reason decided that I must not be good enough for T, and that things will soon end.
Even though he made me look at my passport tonight to see when it expired.
Even though he told me to research hotels in Paris.
Even though he told me that we're going there for my vacation in April.
Even though he tells me he likes me.
Even though, even though, even though.
Why do I do this?
Maybe because I'm usually right.
-b
I've for whatever reason decided that I must not be good enough for T, and that things will soon end.
Even though he made me look at my passport tonight to see when it expired.
Even though he told me to research hotels in Paris.
Even though he told me that we're going there for my vacation in April.
Even though he tells me he likes me.
Even though, even though, even though.
Why do I do this?
Maybe because I'm usually right.
-b
11 comments:
Ok..this made me think of a quote..I'll get to that in a minute...I read this and thought 'expectations'. It's so hard to have expectations and then have them let down.
"Any kind of expectation creates a problem. We should accept, but not expect. Whatever comes, accept it. Whatever goes, accept it. The immediate benefit is that your mind is always peaceful."
Sri Swami Satchidananda
Wish I could do that, but I thought I'd share it.
Maybe its just a defense mechanism, you know, you expect the worse, so you dont get hurt or dissapointed. Though planning a trip to France is a big deal, my husband of three years hasnt done that yet, and we only live 3 hours away from Paris:)
All very good, valid points. Thanks.
I agree with everything that has been said so far. :o) Just hang in there. Take a deep breath, enjoy your time with him (can't be enjoying it if you're worried...) and see where it goes.
P.S. I wish it was as easy as that! :o)
You learned in the hardest possible way, that the best made plans don't always work out - of course you're scared to believe...
Stop with the "I'm not good enough" - very old stuff & it keeps you from seeing if he is good enough for YOU. It's only been a few mos. w/T. I've taken longer to pick out a new car...
Relax and enjoy the ride....n
Is this the first serious relationship youve been in since Joe passed away? It be that your scared if you let your heart go that you will loose soemone you love again. I know a bf does not compare to a husband. Just go with it, take it slow and see what happens. Ps what do your boys think of him?
Well darlin', you know how much I adore you. And I LOVE anon's point about whether T is good enough for YOU.
But, since you've been through this a few times, maybe a bit of introspection is in order. What specifically makes you feel like you're not good enough? If it's something that you can change (and that it's healthy to change), then maybe you can focus on making baby steps toward that change.
Don't agonize over it though. Your relationship with T seems to be progressing at a very healthy pace, and he's had plenty of time before now to bolt -- and hasn't.
Here are some links that I believe will be interested
Interesting site. Useful information. Bookmarked.
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