Sunday, July 30, 2006

Portrait Of A Widow
(with an odd connection to 90210)

I'm not sure if any of you readers were/are fans of Beverly Hills 90210. As lame as it was, it was my favorite show. It helped that I reached all of the same milestones as the characters. We graduated high school together (1993), college together (1997), and I got married the same month that Kelly and Brandon were supposed to get married.

I always had a bit of a crush on Dylan. I mean, how could you not have a crush on Dylan?

After his whole drug addiction he fell in love. Really in love. And he got married. Unfortunately the father of the woman he married put a hit out on Dylan, and his wife was accidentally killed instead.

The scenes after his wife got killed were always my favorite scenes from the entire series. Dylan walked around his empty house, sobbing. He didn't speak, just picked up his wife's clothing and inhaled them and sobbed. All the while a song by Lyle Lovett played in the background.

I cried every time I watched this scene. The words to the song playing were heartbreaking, and watching Dylan in pain made me ache.

This was all before I became a widow. I mean years and years before. I watched this episode recently on the Soap Network. It touched me more than ever. Sometimes, even still, I find myself just sobbing, missing Joe, wishing I had more than an old tee shirt of his to inhale.

Here are the lyrics to the song:
(note: I tried to download the song for you, but couldn't do it. It is so worth the 99 cents at itunes)

Nobody Knows Me

And I like cream in my coffee
And I like to sleep late on sunday
And nobody knows me like my baby
And I like eggs over easy
With flour tortillas
And nobody knows me like my baby

And nobody holds me
And nobody knows me
Nobody knows me like my baby

But it was a dream made to order
South of the border
And nobody knows me like my baby
And she cried man how could you do it
And I swore that there weren't nothing to it
But nobody knows me like my baby

And nobody holds me
And nobody knows me
Nobody knows me like my baby

And I like cream in my coffee
And I hate to be alone on sunday
And nobody knows me like my baby

-b


5 comments:

Nat said...

I really have no idea how this must feel, so I wont go on telling you that I understand. I hope I am not being rude. I see you as such a brave woman. Of course this cannot be compared with anything, but you just reminded me of the day I rushed my oldest to the hospital. Whithin some half an hour she was taken away from me (she was 8 days old), I was given her clothes and told not to make big hopes. We were just numb later in the evening, in a hotel room next to the hospital, knowing that she needs a heart operation, unable to still comprehend that this has happened, and just left with a bunch of her clothes to smell and hug. But we did get her back, thanks God.

I think everybody loved Dylan, it was the bad boy thingy, the sad eyes, and that voice.

Have a great day:)

Maisy said...

Yeah. (To the widow thing.)

Yeah. (To the Dylan thing.)

Ali - who doesn't know whether to laugh or weep.

Anonymous said...

B, Your post is like a mini snap shot from my heart. I watched that episode lying in bed with my husband (then just dating) and he held me as I wept for Dylan. That song touched me so deeply that day and I wanted it played as our first dance at our wedding...but that was pre google days and I never found out who it was by. My husband died in 10/04 and I later found the cd on the internet. Some days when my kids are not home I play that song full blast on repeat while cleaning my house and I cry my eyes out. Thank you for sharing this.

Mrs. G.F. said...

B- I never liked 90210, never watched it never got into it. But that scene sounds awesome.

I bought the song and am listening to it right now.

Great song, I like every song you've suggested so far...some I already knew about, others like this one, I never heard before.

I would have been listening to this yesterday, I hate being alone on Sundays, and Navy Boy works a lot of them. I find Sundays the worst day to be alone.

You know that I am so sorry that Joe isn't here, and that I think it sucks. However, I am glad that you have an outlet with your blog and music to feel what you need to.

((hugs)) my friend, for the sad and the happy in your life

Valerie - Still Riding Forward said...

complete agreement on the song, never saw the show.

Just another widow.