Yours, Mine, Ours, & His?
T spent the day at home today while I was at work. he decided to use his day off to clean/organize the kitchen. When I got home I was pleased to see the results of his labor. The kitchen was rearranged in ways that made sense, the clutter was gone, the counters shined.
"You know what I noticed as I was cleaning?" T asked me while we sipping our after work cappuccinos.
"What?" I innocently replied.
"Joe is everywhere."
"Hmm?"
"Joe is everywhere."
"What do you mean? Give me examples."
T then pointed out at least 15 places in my kitchen that represented Joe. He was in a photograph with his arm around me, on the refrigerator. He was the giant ash tray from Cuba sitting on the window sill. He was the empty beer cans that were sitting in the cabinet over the stove. (Yes, Joe's empties.) He was the trinkets on the other windowsill. He was the cigar boxes that are being used to hold matches. I could go on, but you get the point.
T told me that he's fine having Joe around, he understands that he was/is a big part of my life, and the father of the the boys. But having him everywhere is a bit weird.
I finished drinking my cappuccino, loaded up a basket of laundry, to bring down to the basement. Before I headed to the stairs I loaded up a bit of Joe. I won't pack up all of Joe. T wouldn't want me to, nor would I feel comfortable doing so. But I want T to feel like my home is his home. And three's a crowd. So the picture, the ash tray, and the humidification unit are now resting downstairs in the basement. It's time for Joe to find a new place in our home.
-b
"You know what I noticed as I was cleaning?" T asked me while we sipping our after work cappuccinos.
"What?" I innocently replied.
"Joe is everywhere."
"Hmm?"
"Joe is everywhere."
"What do you mean? Give me examples."
T then pointed out at least 15 places in my kitchen that represented Joe. He was in a photograph with his arm around me, on the refrigerator. He was the giant ash tray from Cuba sitting on the window sill. He was the empty beer cans that were sitting in the cabinet over the stove. (Yes, Joe's empties.) He was the trinkets on the other windowsill. He was the cigar boxes that are being used to hold matches. I could go on, but you get the point.
T told me that he's fine having Joe around, he understands that he was/is a big part of my life, and the father of the the boys. But having him everywhere is a bit weird.
I finished drinking my cappuccino, loaded up a basket of laundry, to bring down to the basement. Before I headed to the stairs I loaded up a bit of Joe. I won't pack up all of Joe. T wouldn't want me to, nor would I feel comfortable doing so. But I want T to feel like my home is his home. And three's a crowd. So the picture, the ash tray, and the humidification unit are now resting downstairs in the basement. It's time for Joe to find a new place in our home.
-b
9 comments:
It's good that you are starting to make room for T. I bet it makes him feel more welcome. Sounds like you've got a really good one: )
You know, I think that some of those mementos (sp?) just become part of our landscape, and we really don't even "see" them anymore. It sounds like T handled it very respectfully with you, and your response was completely reasonable as well.
And a man who cleans and organizes the kitchen to boot? Geez B, you are one lucky woman!!!
B, you are one lucky woman!!!
That I am, Kel.
T is so understanding. You are very lucky. My mom still has my dad's stuff everywhere. I think it is great that everyone can live happily together :)
I have a lot of respect for your abilities (his and yours) to sit down and discuss it. It could be a "loaded" topic, but I think you're both focused and willing to respect each others' feelings. Good for you both! :o)
Wow, I truly loved how you and T both dealt with this situation. I'm sure Joe would be proud of you too. Very respectable and something I admire in you!
Could you clone T? I need someone to clean my house, only when you clone him can you make him a girl. Some random guy living at my house that would be weird which is interesting because if it was a random girl it wouldn't be??? Man society is a pack of idiots.
Anyway, amazing move on your part B. Signs of moving on. Seriously happy for you.
I tried to write a comment last night, but the children kept interrupting.
Wow, was what I thoughtwhen I first read this.
You've come a long way. And, I am so happy you found someone that could be so respectful, accommodating, and understanding.
You are those qualities too; and he is very lucky as well.
Wonderful.
Amazing T, indeed.
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