I Want To Die
No, not me. I have no desire to die. I'm loving life, in fact. Except for this past week when I was pretty sick. I may have had the flu, but if not I had something similar. Fever, chills, achy bones. I think those symptoms led me to take the blog break that I took. Tonight I was walking Brooklyn on m y nightly walk, and had a realization that I was finally feeling better. You know how when you're sick you forget what it feels like to feel well? Is it just me that that happens to? When I'm feeling my worst, I literally can't remember what it feels like to feel well. Anyways, tonight I was walking and realized that I felt well again. And I was so happy. And I thought about the blog, and realized that I have a ton to say!
So back to the title. Jacob has been talking about death lately. In fact he tells me on a daily basis that he wants to die. Why? Because he wants to be with daddy. Of course at four, he has no idea that death is permanent, and I am not worried about him hurting himself. All he knows is daddy is dead, and he wants to see daddy. Therefore, he wants to die.
This makes for a daily heartbreaking talk. At this point I think Jacob says it because he likes the attention he gets for saying it. But I don't ever want to be dismissive of it, ya know? I tell him that when you die you never come back, so he's not allowed to die until he's very very old. I also tell him that daddy is with him in everything he does, even though he can't physically see him.
Any other suggestions?
So back to the title. Jacob has been talking about death lately. In fact he tells me on a daily basis that he wants to die. Why? Because he wants to be with daddy. Of course at four, he has no idea that death is permanent, and I am not worried about him hurting himself. All he knows is daddy is dead, and he wants to see daddy. Therefore, he wants to die.
This makes for a daily heartbreaking talk. At this point I think Jacob says it because he likes the attention he gets for saying it. But I don't ever want to be dismissive of it, ya know? I tell him that when you die you never come back, so he's not allowed to die until he's very very old. I also tell him that daddy is with him in everything he does, even though he can't physically see him.
Any other suggestions?
4 comments:
I think you are saying the exact perfect things.
I'm glad you are feeling better and even more glad that you posted! ;-)
Hugs to you all and I hope he moves through this phase quickly.
Aw...
Have you tried reading any books to him? The one we like a lot is When Dinosaurs Die. It has prompted some good discussions with Jack.
If I think of anything else, I'll let you know...I know it's really hard on you!
And yes, I'm the same way when I'm sick...I forget what it's like to feel well. I had a really bad cough last week (on my birthday even...thanks for the e-mail!) and it feels so amazing this week in comparison now that things are better.
I'm glad you're feeling better. I don't know if this would help. Do you have any old videos of Joe that you could show Jacob? It might help him to see his father in action. I don't konw if it's a bad idea or if it would help.
I think death is so abstract for kids his age. I remember my mom telling me we were going to visit my cousin at the cemetery.I thought she lived in the ground and we were going to climb down a ladder and have a Tea-party at her house. (I was about 4-5 years old).
My sister had the same bug, but she was on vacation. They went home. I'm glad you're BLOGGING again!
Another idea...does he like to draw? It might be helpful to encourage Jacob to draw pictures to capture his thoughts/feelings about his daddy.
Something I've also started doing with Jack is to help him think of things for which we're grateful. Yes, it sucks that he will never get to meet his dad...and yet, we have so many blessings in our lives and I want him to focus on those too.
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