Advice Needed
J & J are having their birthday party this weekend. The party has a pirate theme. It's going to be great because I have an amazing birthday party planner (mel!) There are going to be lots of pirate activities including a treasure hunt.
As you know, the boys started camp last week. They have both made some new friends and Jacob has become very good friends with a little girl. He keeps asking me to invite this little girl to the party, and I'm all for it.
But there is one problem.
This little girl has something wrong with her eye. She wears an eye patch over it.
Will it be an insult to invite her to a pirate party where we are giving out pretend eye patches? Or will she be excited to see everyone else wearing one too? And do I tell her mom in advance, or let her find out upon arrival?
See my dilemma? Thoughts? Opinions? Is anyone still here?
-b
p.s. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JRowe!
As you know, the boys started camp last week. They have both made some new friends and Jacob has become very good friends with a little girl. He keeps asking me to invite this little girl to the party, and I'm all for it.
But there is one problem.
This little girl has something wrong with her eye. She wears an eye patch over it.
Will it be an insult to invite her to a pirate party where we are giving out pretend eye patches? Or will she be excited to see everyone else wearing one too? And do I tell her mom in advance, or let her find out upon arrival?
See my dilemma? Thoughts? Opinions? Is anyone still here?
-b
p.s. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JRowe!
18 comments:
Whoa, that's a toughie!
I'd say talk to her mom about it. The fact that you're concerned about it will guide you in how to approach her mom. Your heart is in the right place, and that will come through.
Want to be my party planner too???? Jack turns 6 next week...yikes!!
Happy birthday party, J and J!
Id say invite the little girl but advice the mom beforehand so there is minimal awkwardness the day of the party...:)
i think you should let the mom know when you invite her daughter to the party. just something like - i'm sure i'm being overly sensitive, but i just want to let you know that we are having a pirate theme party and we were planning to give out eye patches for the kids to pretend they are pirates - but i can hold off on it if you think it's inappropriate or if your daughter's feelings might be hurt. i am sure the mom will appreciate your sentiment and most likely not mind the eyepatches at all.
sounds like it will be a great party!
xo-ej
Bring it up before the party that way the mom can talk to her daughter... I think it's all in the way you approach the mom. Then they can make a choice. We're looking forward to the party and maybe Mel's new business adventure!
Thanks for the b-day wishes. It's shaping up to be a great day!
Just mention it to the mom, she;ll understand where you're coming from i'm sure. Sorry I won't be able to make it this time..BCA
Yikes! That's a tough one. Well, it could be worse. She could have a peg leg ;)
Wow, there's something that doesn't come up often - I agree with the others...talk to the mom.
Little J is having a pirate party in three weeks. If you have any ideas you want to share, I'd love to hear them...I'm drawing a blank after the obvious ideas.
Thanks for all of your suggestions. I've chickened out, and am just not inviting her at all. :O(
Wi mommy,
I will tell you all the activities we do after the party. (I'm not sure of all of them myself!)
-b
definately tell her mom...
Roz
b: As a mother of children with disabilities, I would strongly urge you to rethink this matter. Chances are this l'il girl gets teased b/c of her eye-patch and I know from experience how much this pains a mother's heart. I am sure she would love her daughter to be included & an upfront chat about the theme would probably be greeted with a chuckle & profound gratitude. It just seems to me that to not invite her b/c of the patch is discriminating even though you may think you are shielding her feelings. It may be one of the rare occasion where she doesn't feel "different".
Think of what you would want if it were one of your kiddos.
Just my opinion.
in_the_clover
xoxo
You're right. Maybe I'll invite her. Thanks for your input.
b: Thanks for including the little girl -- I'm sure they'll all have a "yo-ho-ho & a bottle of rum"!
I am sure the Mom will appreciate your sensitivity.
in_the_clover
xoxo
My first thought would be to ask the mom and also be upfront. I would tell her you were planning to hand out eye patches, but didn't want to make her feel bad. Who knows, maybe her eye thing is temporary. Olivia had a classmate last year that had to wear an eye patch, it was to make the other eye stronger. You could also leave out the eye patches.
Don't take this the wrong way but I laughed at this post. How cool is that to have a girl with an eye patch come to a pirate party. J & J's very own pirate queen.
As bad as this is going to sound, it might be nice for the little girl because then no one will be making fun of her because no one will be able to tell the difference. She may feel like she can act herself and thus she might have more fun. Kids are kind of cool when it comes to this. At school she'll be treated differently and a freak of some sorts but when the kids get together and they all have fun then from that point on they realise who the real person is and not the disability they just treat them as any normal people. As such kids are way better than adults. That's why I refuse to grow up, hence the thoughts about pirate queens. :-)
That being said though, you might still want to run it by her mum first though and then she can ask if it will offend her.
One more thing should be added. This girl is the most popular kid in Jacob's class, so the eye patch doesn't seem to interfere with her social skills. I just felt awkward b/c of the theme of the party....
I agree with the rest. Tell her mom about it, let her decide whether or not to mention it to her daughter. I am sure they will get a kick out of it but talk to mom first.
Amanda
ps. I hope all went well with your company.
just catching up on posts (post -HI), and definitely think this is a really funny post. I doubt anyone will read this becasue it is a post from a little while ago though.
thanks, patrick! How was the trip? Let's get together.
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