Sunday, November 20, 2005

Freaking Out

I am basically having a panic attack because the guy I've been dating hasn't returned my message that I left a little over 2 hours ago. We had an amazing weekend together, I dropped him off this afternoon, and now I've convinced myself that he's done with me.

Why do I do this to myself? I think that I don't understand why anyone would want to be with me, because of all that I bring with me. As much as I am so incredibly thankful that I've got my sons, dating would be a hell of a lot easier without them. But I'd still have the dead husband baggage. And that's pretty heavy baggage. And the fear of abandonment baggage due to the dead husband dying without any chance for closure.

I was IM'ing this with Vincent, and he gave me some pretty good advice. I told him I was worried it was too much for guy I'm seeing, and Vincent said:
if it was, he'd tell you
until then start respecting him
respect his judgement
respect that he can decide for himself
and then be a big boy and tell you what he wants when he's ready

Amazing advice. Now how do I do that?

-B

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Vincent gave you the best advice ever! Tell him thank you... you have great kids and anyone would be lucky to have them and you in their life. -J

Anonymous said...

well said! -m