Quick Update

We're having a great visit with T's parents. It's been fun, and the boys have been thrilled with all the attention they've been receiving.

I've lost 7 pounds since last Monday! Holy crap! I've been doing weight watchers, and working out with a personal trainer. It feels so good to see those numbers dropping each day, and I have the motivation that I need to keep it up.

Life is good....

-b

Guess Who's Coming For a Weekend Visit?

T's Parents!
They arrive tomorrow afternoon
They leave Sunday afternoon
They are staying in our house
Oh boy!

Oh, and we're all (no kids) haveing dinner at my parents' house Saturday night
That should be interesting
Wish me luck!

-b

Gotta Love Jacob

Scene: kitchen floor, everyone is putting on shoes for the day.

Jacob:Mommy, why are you putting on sneakers?

me: Because I'm going to the gym.

J: Why are you going to the gym?

me: Because I want to get in shape.

J: (lips quivering, tears rolling) But Momma, what shape will you be?

-b

Ugh

Were you getting sick of all my happy posts? Well then, you're in luck. After a really great weekend, including eating freshly caught by T lobsters for dinner last night (he has a lobster license), I decided to step on the scale this morning.

My first personal training workout is this morning, and I'm starting weight watchers this week, so I thought it was time to see for myself how fat I really am.

I am not going to share with you what I weigh. But I will tell you that I weigh more than I did 9 months pregnant. Ugh. How did I let this happen? I feel like I have so much to lose it's almost not worth trying. Ugh.

-b

Vacation So Far....

Yesterday we had a great visit from my friend Nikki, and her two daughters. We had a mock birthday party for the boys since they (along with everyone) will be away when the real party occurs. They even brought cupcakes for dessert. When it was time to light the candles and sing happy birthday, Josh asked "What about party hats?" So they made party hats.

Today we went to a strawberry festival with a group of friends. It felt like apple picking weather. It was just perfect. Here are some pictures:

Tonight is Girls Night Out in honor of JRowe's return to the Boston area. I volunteered to be the driver so that I won't have a repeat of the other night! Hope everyone is having a great weekend!

-b

Summer Vacation Has Officially Begun!

and I'm already hungover
this is not a good start..

-b

edited for clarification: It was a perfect way to end the school year. Our school knows how to throw a party like no other. But perhaps I should not have had 8 shots? Or maybe cut back on the 4 margaritas? Because it is hard to be productive today, and I had many goals that are not getting met. But it was a fun party.

With Summer Here, How Shall I spend My Time?

With school ending tomorrow at 12:05 pm, you may be wondering what my summer plans are. Be prepared to be jealous. Yes, you just might actually feel a twang of jealousy when you read what I have in store for myself.

The boys are going to be attending day camp. I know, I know, they are a little young for day camp. But It's part of their preschool. It's cheaper for me to send them to the year round program, instead of the school year program. So since I'm paying for them to go during the summer, they will be going during the summer.

They will be gone from 8-4 Monday-Friday. I know. You're feeling a little jealous, aren't you? Now before you accuse me of being a bad mom, the boys are going to love camp. They have swimming lessons every day, nature, music, art, etc. They will be with friends, and will be getting exercise. It's good for them.

As for me, I am beyond excited to have 8 weeks of days to myself. The preschool is at a local JCC, so after I drop the boys off, I am going to work out at the gym. I've even scheduled 4 personal training sessions to get me started. (The 4 sessions are free)

Once I get home from the gym, I will shower, straighten up the house, and write. I will hopefully get in an hour or two of writing a day.

After I pick the boys up, we'll play with our neighborhood friends, takes baths, have dinner, and take our nightly walk with the dog.

This is my plan. I know. You're jealous. It's OK. :O)

-b

I made it...

This was the most challenging school year of my 10 year career. These kids tested me every chance they got. They questioned my every direction, and interrupted my every word. Some students chose to speak only in bird, or cat. Some refused to budge from fetal position on the rug. Some took up belching as a pastime.

This class made me cry almost nightly in frustration for the first 5 months of school. They frustrated me to the point of feeling like quitting. They made me turn into a teacher who yells, and threatens.

Why is it then, that I am tearing up thinking of saying goodbye to this crew? Strangely enough, I have grown to love them. Even stranger, I will actually miss them. All of them. Even "bird girl."

Go figure.

-b

The Card

The card went over well
it was one of those
"Like a father" cards

You know,
thanks for being
"like a father to me"

and I asked j&J
what they liked most about T
and wrote down their answers
(pretty funny ones)

I had the card sitting on T's pillow when he came in the
room from taking a shower

He read it
and I said
"Happy Like A Father's Day!"

He responded,
"we need to remedy the like part"

Happy Father's Day!

Father's Day

Last year on Father's Day
T and I had a bad date
It wasn't a deal breaking disaster
obviously
but it was bad
and awkward and frustrating
all mixed in as one

This year on Father's Day
the moving truck
will be bringing all of
T's belongings
and we will have a
celebratory dinner

I even went against a
poll I took
on another website
and I bought t
a card
it won't scare him away

-b

Dear Jacob,

Tomorrow you will be four years old! Your short life has been so full of chaos and sadness, and for that I am so sorry. Despite all that you've been through in your short life, you have turned into a wonderful person.

Jacob, you have an amazing sense of humor. You crack yourself up all day long, and you crack Joshua and me up too. You have a smile that can light up a room, and a pout that makes me give in way too often.

You ask me questions that I have no idea how to answer. Two weeks ago you asked me, in a serious voice, "Where exactly IS Humpty Dumpty's wall?" You ask me questions about nature and weather all the time, and are curious about everything you come into contact with.

You are such a great brother. Today you received two birthday cards in the mail, and you gave one to Josh to open, because "That is fair." You love to do everything with your little brother, and are his best friend. I love watching you teach him things you have learned, and watching you cheering him on.

This year was your first year being separated from Josh, and it was hard for you at first. You used to cry every day when I dropped you off for school. Not a sobbing cry, but the silent cry with tears rolling down your face, and a quivering lip. I hated leaving you, and would cry myself as I drove to work, but I knew that it was the best thing for you. You have become an independent thinker this year. You have grown to love school, made many friends, and tried so many things.

You are a baseball player, a dancer, a singer, a joke teller, a reader, a writer, an artist, a storyteller, a snuggler, a student, a teacher, a magician, a friend.

You, Jacob, are a remarkable little boy, and I am so proud to be your mother.

Happy Birthday. May this year be your best year yet.

Love,
Mom

Painting With T

priming
painting
singing
laughing
talking
sharing
dancing
joking
resting
eating
planning


Mason Jennings
playing over the speakers
"Be here now"

There really is
no other place
I'd rather be

-b

Busy!

Sorry for the lack of posts. I've been busier than ever, and haven't been on the computer for days! (*Gasp!*) What have I been doing? Well, for one, I've been trying to spend quality time at night with T, sans computer. Being a computer addict, this is a hard task. But last night I sat down and watched an entire movie without checking my email, or this bog, or a website that I spend way too much time on.

It helped that the movie was in Spanish, and so I had to read the subtitles to know what was going on. (It always amazes me how much prettier other languages sound. English sounds so crass, and Spanish was just so beautiful to listen to.) It also helped that the movie was beyond amazing. It was called, "Pan's Labyrinths," and if you haven't seen it, you must! It made my top ten list. JRowe, and MK, you two in particular would love it, I think.

We've also been painting the basement. T moves in next weekend, and all of his stuff is going down there. We're making it into a guest suite, which will be nice when either of our families come to visit. It's been a while since I painted, and I'm not very good at it, but we've been having a ton of fun working on it together. Last night T told me that while he was painting he was thinking about how lucky he was to have me in his life. I asked him why, and he gave me about 7 reasons, one of which was that we work so well together. And it's true. We are are a really good team.

I've also been working on my memoir. I got some amazing feedback from my writer's group. I can't wait to go back on Wednesday. I have something school related every night this week, plus Jacob turns four on Thursday.

I'll try to post when I get a chance. But it may be a few days. Miss you all!

-b

Talk About Timing

Have I told you that a few weeks ago T accepted a new job nearby?
This job won't involve any travelling
which we have both had some mixed feelings about

But it's for an amazing company
that is always written up
as one of the top ten companies
to work for around here

and it's a great position
and he will be here
a lot more

Well, he gave his notice two weeks ago
and guess what he found out today?

In two weeks he was going to be laid off
along with everyone else!

How's that for amazing timing?

-b

Quick Update

Tonight was amazing
better than I could
have hoped for

Thanks for all your support!

-b

Anxious

I am anxious
as in
feel like I'm going to puke
anxious

Is it the workshop
that starts tomorrow
that I really want to back out of
but won't because Melanie will kick my butt?

It could be
I've seen the writing the other writers
are working on
mine is inferior
by far

I'm not saying that so you can tell
me how great my writing is
I'm saying that because it's true
my writing looks like
whining by a five year old
don't deny it

Am I anxious because
it's the end of the school year
and there are about
one million things that
I need to get done
in the next ten days?

It could be
I never handle the end of the year
very well

Am I anxious because
T is moving in
and he's talking about all
of the changes we're going to
make to the house
and it's freaking me out
but I don't want to tell him
that it's freaking me out?

It could be that
as well.

Maybe it's something else entirely

-b

A Very Busy, Yet very Wonderful Weekend

My graduation dinner was perfect. The food was unbelievable, the never ending wine was delicious, and the company was superb. I really felt blessed sitting at the table with a group of people who really helped me get through grad school. Each person at that table was responsible in some way for me completing my degree. They either gave me money to pay for classes, offered babysitting so I could go to classes, offered emotional support and encouragement, or all of the above. I am eternally grateful to all who who there, as well as to a few (like my sister) who could not make it.
Here is a picture:

Mel, her husband, my brother, my sister-in-law, my parents, Joe's cousin, T, and me

Today we packed up T's apartment! He's really moving in! I couldn't be any happier about it. Once all the boxes were packed, we danced to a u2 song playing on T's ipod speakers. It was a perfect moment.

T in his packed up apartment. So so cute.

-b

Graduation Dinner

I'm off to celebrate my graduation
at my favorite restaurant
with some of my
favorite people
T brought me the most perfect
white roses
and told me that I look
beautiful
It should be a lovely night

-b