When Will He Come Back?
That is the latest question
my 2 and 3 year old are asking
repeatedly
Why did he have to die?
is the other one
that keeps coming up
Never, and I don't know
just don't seem to be
sufficient answers
Because he was cheated out of life
and you were cheated
out of having him as a father
is what I would like to say
I guess they waited for the
grief to be easier for me
so that I can help them
as they truly face the loss
that has been with them
for two and a half years
I wish I had the answers
instead I only have questions
That is the latest question
my 2 and 3 year old are asking
repeatedly
Why did he have to die?
is the other one
that keeps coming up
Never, and I don't know
just don't seem to be
sufficient answers
Because he was cheated out of life
and you were cheated
out of having him as a father
is what I would like to say
I guess they waited for the
grief to be easier for me
so that I can help them
as they truly face the loss
that has been with them
for two and a half years
I wish I had the answers
instead I only have questions
-b
3 comments:
Wow. Huge questions. I can't even begin to know how to tackle this.
What I do know is that you can do it. You'll jump this hurdle gracefully just like you've jumped the others.
You know what I realized over the holiday break? I don't think kids at this age really need answers. I think they just realize that the situation is different, so they just go "why", and our struggle to provide an answer torments us more than their actual need for a reply.
For example, my nephew is 6, and one random moment over Christmas he goes, "Who are you married to, Auntie?" then later, he asked, "Where's your dad, Auntie?" I just said I wasn't married, and that my dad wasn't here. I think that was sufficient because he didn't ask any more questions. I thought about it later and I realized that my nephew is growing in awareness and probably just noticed that my sisters are paired up and that our cousins had someone to call dad. It was the feelings I associated with those questions that were more difficult to deal with than I think his need for an answer was.
Does that make sense?
Anyway...hang in there. The fact that they are asking means they are growing up and noticing the world around them. It's a good thing. :)
Hang in there...
They're trying to wrap their minds around something that none of us can understand. Death is so abstract and literal to them. Just keep giving them simple answers one piece at a time. They're lucky to have such a loving mom.
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