Guess What I Fit Into?
My Pre-Jacob, post miscarriage clothes! While I was only pregnant for 10 weeks before miscarrying, I managed to gain enough weight for an entire pregnancy. And then after the miscarriage I was depressed and ate. A lot. Then I got pregnant with Jacob, and you know the rest of the story.
So while the clothes that I fit into are not my true pre-pregnancy clothes, they are close! I also went to TJmax to buy some back to school dresses. I didn't want to spend too much money since I plan on losing more, but I love the dresses I bought! They are cute I think. Not just big enough to cover my body, but cute!
Very exciting stuff.
As an aside, I'm feeling super anxious today. Jacob and T had a bit of a falling out this morning, and it has left me feeling uneasy. I know T loves the boys, but I also know that they are a bit of a hurdle in terms of the relationship. I'm not sure if that makes sense, but imagine dating someone with kids when you've never had them. When they act up, I think it's harder for T than it is for me. I think it's harder for guys in general, but even harder when the children aren't yours. I'm rambling I know. Just trying to sort out my anxiety.
Thanks for listening.
-b
So while the clothes that I fit into are not my true pre-pregnancy clothes, they are close! I also went to TJmax to buy some back to school dresses. I didn't want to spend too much money since I plan on losing more, but I love the dresses I bought! They are cute I think. Not just big enough to cover my body, but cute!
Very exciting stuff.
As an aside, I'm feeling super anxious today. Jacob and T had a bit of a falling out this morning, and it has left me feeling uneasy. I know T loves the boys, but I also know that they are a bit of a hurdle in terms of the relationship. I'm not sure if that makes sense, but imagine dating someone with kids when you've never had them. When they act up, I think it's harder for T than it is for me. I think it's harder for guys in general, but even harder when the children aren't yours. I'm rambling I know. Just trying to sort out my anxiety.
Thanks for listening.
-b
8 comments:
Congrats on the clothes. I can't wait to see the new dresses. :o)
I'm sorry about your anxiety though. I'm sure it will work out soon. T loves all three of you a hell of a lot. It will get better soon. Mel
Super awesome about the clothes!! Just think how surprised everyone (well, except Mel!) is going to be when you go back to school next month...they probably won't even recognize you!
And I feel your pain about T and the kids. I get anxious about it as well with Eric and Jack. Of course, there's a big difference in that Eric has kids of his own, but his youngest just turned 18. So, when Jack acts up, it makes me wonder if Eric really wants to go through it all again (even though he assures me that he does).
But. T would not have stuck around for this long if he didn't love all three of you. He's spent enough time with you to see the downs AND the ups, and I know he wouldn't trade that for the world.
(thought i'd post since its been a while) Congratulations!! hopefully right now (10:00) you're succesfully keeping Jacob up and not too tempertantrummy. btw i got the email, see you at 10:30
Useless without pics. :-)
I understand the feeling about other people's kids.
I have none of my own but I get on really well with kids.
I was in the park once and a kid fell off the flying fox and I just wanted to pick him up and hold him to comfort him until his mum came but you can't do that stuff these days for fear of being treated like a pedophile or something.
Then disciplining other people's kids for being the brats they are seems wrong as well because they're not your kids and people will no doubt get offended that you're doing something they SHOULD be doing but aren't.
I feel for T, for any guy in a similar situation.
As a step-mother who does have a child of her own I can tell you that it is challenging. There are days where the thought, "What was I thinking, I can't handle this!" comes into my head but I have to realize that they are not my kids and they do feel guilty for loving me and their mom. Maybe that is what it is. I know they have had a hard time because their dad is gone but maybe if you explain to them that their dad is glad that you and the boys are happy they will become OK with it.
Good Luck.
Amanda
Congrats on the successful shopping and new size!Give T a break...all of this has to be a bit overwhelming. I'm sure you're all stressed about the testing and that isn't helping. I think it's important to see where T is coming from and you do. I'm sure everything will sort it's self out. I wish Jacob a great night sleep tonight!
Breathe! T is not going anywhere. He adores you. Also - it's probably difficult for T to know what kind of role he should take with the boys when they act up in certain ways.
Regarding the T and Jacob issue, no one understands better than me!! It is a constant struggle between John and I. Hang in there!!
Rebecca
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