Missing Joe
Two and a half years later I can honestly say that I miss Joe less frequently. I'll go hours, days, weeks even that I'm not actively missing him. He is not my first thought when I wake up, nor is he my last thought when I go to sleep. I am not constantly reminded of him, nor do I feel the need to bring him up in every conversation I have with people.
But the times that I do miss him are more painful than I can even put into words. Every pore in my body aches for him, my mouth can't open because no doubt I will cry instead of speak. Every song, commercial, comment by a passerby, all remind me of him. I want to smell him, feel him, talk to him, laugh with him. I just want him here.
And then I picture him in his hospital bed dying. He died in front of me and I don't think I can ever get over that. His body failing, his heart rate decreasing. I am just so sad for him. And for everyone who knew him, and everyone who didn't know him.
He was one of a kind, my husband Joe. One of a kind.
-b
But the times that I do miss him are more painful than I can even put into words. Every pore in my body aches for him, my mouth can't open because no doubt I will cry instead of speak. Every song, commercial, comment by a passerby, all remind me of him. I want to smell him, feel him, talk to him, laugh with him. I just want him here.
And then I picture him in his hospital bed dying. He died in front of me and I don't think I can ever get over that. His body failing, his heart rate decreasing. I am just so sad for him. And for everyone who knew him, and everyone who didn't know him.
He was one of a kind, my husband Joe. One of a kind.
-b
6 comments:
But the times that I do miss him are more painful than I can even put into words.
This is what still take my breath away: The pain is not all-consuming, it's not there 24/7 -- but when it comes, it no less acute than it was at the beginning.
Hugs and ughs, from me to you
I wish I didn't know what you mean. I wish I didn't understand.
But I do. I completely understand.
It is so true.
Sandy.
:o(
I feel the same way when I think about my best friend when he passed away.
Sometimes I wish I didn't miss him, but he's the first thing I think of when I wake up in the morning and the last person I think of when I go to sleep at night, and it's been almost six years.
If I could give you a hug, I would.
HUGS, b :)
sigh...
I can't even imagine...
((B))
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