Ask me anything

I don't have much to say these days
even at therapy today
I was pretty much speechless
I know, it's hard to picture me speechless
but I was
nothing bad is going on
nothing exciting is going on
life is just continuing on its merry way

I want to write something interesting
so help me out
ask me some good questions
and hopefully they'll inspire
a decent entry

-b

Been Busy

I have lots of pictures to share with you
Been a very busy few days
Between Purim
Traveling to and from NJ
in less than 24 hours
and of course
Easter
It's been nuts here
all in a good way
but I'm too tired
to download pictures
or share any cute stories
Besides
I must conserve all of my energy
tonight is the season premiere
of The Hills
*sigh*
Doesn't get any better than that

-b

Speaking of Springsteen

Check out this song


In my dream my love was lost, I lived by luck and faith.
I carried you inside of me, and praied it wouldn't be to late.
Now I'm standin' on this empty road, where nothin' moves but the wind...


Back in your arms, back in your arms again..
Back in your arms, back in your arms again.
Back in your arms, back in your arms again.


You said once I was your treasure, and I saw your face in every store
The promises we make at night, oh that's all they are
Unless we fill them with faith and love they're emty as a howlin' wind.
Now darlin' I just wanna be


Back in your arms, back in your arms again..
Back in your arms, back in your arms again.
Back in your arms, back in your arms again.

You came to me with love and kindness, but all my life I've been a prisoner
of my own blindness
I met you with indifference, and I don't know why.

Now I wake from my dream, I wake from my dream to this world.
Where all the shadow and darkness and a dark sky unfurls.
And all the love I've thrown away and lost, honey I'm longing for again.
Now there's nothing that I wouldn't do if I could be

Back in your arms, back in your arms again.
Back in your arms, back in your arms again.
Back in your arms, back in your arms again.
Back in your arms

-b

Dreaming of Someone Lost

You came to me in my dream last night
I could see you, touch you, hear you
your voice was crystal clear
I have missed your voice
had forgotten how deep and strong it was

you sang to me

Like a vision she dances across the porch
as the radio plays
Roy Orbison singing for the lonely
Hey that's me and I want you only
Don't turn me home again
I just can't face myself alone again

Waking up this morning was hard
I wanted the singing to continue
I wanted you here
I shared my dream with T
he smiled and asked if your voice was
any better than mine

In my dream
it was magical

In my dream
it was magical

-b

Balloons

Here is the conversation we had in the car today:

Jacob: Mommy look! Balloons are in the sky!

Josh: they are going to daddy, they are going to daddy!

Jacob: Mommy, what will daddy do with all those balloons?

b: I don't know. What do you think he'll do with them?

Jacob: I think he will hand them out to people. When they die and go to heaven, daddy will be waiting for them with balloons.

b: I'll bet you're right. Your daddy sure did love to welcome people to a party.

Inside I had to chuckle. Joe might be handing out cigars to welcome people, but for some reason I can't picture him handing out balloons. Can you?

-b

Quick Updates

I've stayed away from the computer all weekend. I've actually read an entire novel today! I can accomplish great things when I stay away. I'm sorry that I never reported back about Brooklyn though.

She is fine. She miraculously passed the objects that were clogging up her intestines. (It was a red plastic toy wrapped up in underwear. Don't ask.) She came home Friday night, and appears to be completely back to herself. I must publicly thank Michele, my dear friend from Widow Group. She is a Veterinary Surgeon, and for the second time in Brooklyn's short life, has come to her rescue. Michele, I so appreciate you taking the time to make a house call, and for helping me make the decisions that I made. You are amazing.

I had a great weekend, but ate and drank way too much. On Friday night I went out with two of my cousins whom I almost never get to see. We had an amazing time catching up, and I am so happy that I went out with them. First we had dinner here
followed by drinks here.

Last night my parents took T and I out to celebrate his 30th birthday. We had a fine meal here.
But I made the mistake of drinking too much and eating a huge dessert! Not so much fun once we returned home.

Life is good. I feel content. Hope your weekends went as well.

-b

Brooklyn Update

I just visited her at the hospital
she looks good
they are seeing if they can get the object
to pass on its own
if not gone by tomorrow
she will need surgery
please please please
let it pass on its own
thanks for your well wishes

-b

p.s. T turned 30 today! Despite everything going on, the boys and I baked a cake. We also gave him a wii. T and I will celebrate properly this weekend. Happy 30th T! Welcome to a fabulous decade.

Brooklyn

Brooklyn is very sick. Something is stuck in her intestine. She will most likely need surgery. I am a mess. Please keep us in your thoughts.

-b

Guess Who Turned One?

Baby Sophia is no longer a baby!

The Cousins pose (Sophia, Joshua, Ben, Jacob)

It was a music together class, full of music and dancing. Even the grandparents got into it.

The boys were in heaven

Sophia blowing out her candles. Becca and I decorated the homemade cupcakes.

Jen and baby Emma!

I was in heaven holding baby Emma for most of the party!

Happy Birthday, Sophia!

Love,
Auntie b

Dear Jen,

I am trying to post the pictures of the party, but blogger is not cooperating!!!! I promise to keep trying.

love,
b

Meeting The Principal

On the advice of Jacob's preschool teachers, I am meeting with his soon to be principal this Wednesday afternoon. I just wanted to tell her a bit of Jacob's background, and explain to her that he's very quiet and shy, and that he can easily get lost in a crowd. I also plan on telling her about his slight obsession with death, and his sensitivity towards certain subjects.

When I told T that I made an appointment, he immediately asked for the time and location.

"Oh, you want to come with me?" I asked.

"Of course. Why wouldn't I be there?"

I had mixed feelings about him coming with me, and I explained them to Mel later that day.

While I am thrilled that T is taking such an interest in Jacob's future. And I am thrilled that he sees himself in the role of Jacob's step-father, I am going in as a widow, and am planning on talking about how the loss of his father has shaped Jacob's personality in some ways. How will it look if I'm there with my boyfriend? Won't that negate everything?

Mel reminded me that no, that doesn't change anything. Jacob's father still died at the age of 31. Jacob's father still died when Jacob was only 10 months old. Jacob's loss is still Jacob's loss, despite the fact that T is now a part of his life. If anything, the principal will be happy to see that Jacob's mom has a supportive boyfriend who cares about Jacob's school experience as much as she does.

And she is right, of course. T belongs at this meeting, and Jacob deserves to have a meeting about him.

-b

Little Annoyances

I have had a slow leak in my rear passenger tire. By slow I mean fast. I have had to fill it with air every other day. By I, I mean the person who works at the gas station and continues taking pity on my feeble attempts at filling my tire with air. I spent an hour and a half on Sunday waiting for my tire to be diagnosed. At the end of the wait I was told that the leak is not fixable. There is a nail in the edge, and it's not a safe spot to patch it. "Fine," I told the man, "replace it please." Not possible. The tire is not in stock. Argh.

I received a speeding ticket in the mail today. It came from the city of Boston, and says that it's a late notice. a) I never received an original ticket. b) It's dated 1/16/08 at 11:49 am. Guess where I was at that time? Work! Guess where work is located? 30 minutes away from the city of Boston. WTF?????

Brooklyn hates the rain. She is fearless in many ways, but the rain seems to be her big phobia. Strangely enough, it's my phobia as well. I came home tonight to find dog poop everywhere. I sent her outside into the rain, cleaned it up, let her back in, went upstairs to put the boys to bed, and what was waiting for me when I came back down? More poop! She did it again!

I keep getting sick. Not sick enough to stay home from work. Not sick enough to stop my daily routine, but sick enough to just not feel well. I sweat easily, my head hurts, my throat is swollen. It last for three days, goes away for three, comes back for three.

There are minor annoyances. I get that. They are all fixable. But man do they put me in a bad mood!

-b

I'm Tired
but happily
relaxed

life is good
yet scary
and overwhelming
and fun

the future
looks promising
yet the unknown
leaves me feeling
anxious

my kids
are my favorite people
make me so proud
yet bewilder me
constantly

writing
has been an outlet
like no other
the pressure
keeps me motivated

my friends
help me laugh
everyday

my family
there are no words
for their importance
in my life

my boyfriend
makes me feel special
everyday
holds me tight
every night
loves me
the way I deserve
to be loved

-b

Damn You, Brett

You jinxed me
The kitchen would have gone off without a hitch
had you not commented
now my cabinet walls need to be removed for the counters to go out/in
and the tiles for the floor may be too thick to fit under the dishwasher
so it is all on hold
until everything is sorted out

Maybe it's because of my new bras
but I can't stop smiling today
despite these setbacks

-b

My Mom

I had a really nice time with her tonight
not just because she bought me new bras
(I was wearing one cup size too small btw)
but because she was really fun to be with
and she gave me some good advice
I really love her tonight

-b

Birthday Present

Tomorrow I will be visiting this store
for my birthday bra fitting from my mom
We were supposed to go last week
but with Brooklyn in the ER
it somehow seemed wrong to go
I'm so very curious to see what my true size is
I would let you make predictions
but that seems wrong as well

-b

p.s. I ordered my new kitchen today! I took all of your advice into account. It will be completed by the end of March!

Inspiring Day

I had the most incredible day today
I spent the entire day surrounded by other writers
I was able to get so much writing done
I even got up the nerve to
read an excerpt from my book
during the open mike session
I was shaking I was so nervous
but it was really well received
I left so inspired to write more
and I'm very tempted to sign up for this
weekend workshop
Doesn't it look amazing?

-b

p.s. Gina, I had such a great time with you yesterday. I promise I will come up to Maine this summer.

Updates

I feel like I owe you some updates, so this post will be about nothing and everything.

Brooklyn

She is doing fine. She was definitely out of it her first night home. She didn't bark for over 12 hours, which is really odd for her. Yesterday morning T was freaking out that she had lost her ability to bark. I, on the other hand, thought this was a fabulous side effect to having been beaten on the head. T did everything in his power to get her to bark, and of course, once she started, she hasn't stopped. "Ah, she's back to being our dog," T keeps saying. I just roll my eyes.

My Birthday

It was lovely. T did everything right this year, from having chocolates for me when I woke up, to sending me gorgeous flowers to my job. Dinner was great, and my presents were fun. I really can't share them with you because one will make him sound like a selfish bastard, and the other will make him sound like a pervert. But I love both presents, and we've had a fun week with them.

My Kitchen

Thank you for your help with the counter selection. I really would have picked the first granite if I didn't have your negative reactions! I think we're going with the second choice, as well as the backsplash. We also decided to change the floor while we're at it. Any suggestions for a great looking, dirt hiding floor? And decorator ub mom, I will keep in mind your cabinet comment. My sister has said the same thing to me before. Sometimes it takes me a while to make a change. (Hence the ugly counter tops for the past ten years!)

My Vacation

This week was school vacation, and it was a fabulous one. I worked out 4 out of the five days. I went to the new Institute of Contemporary Art with JRowe on Monday. I had time to myself throughout the week, and spent some good time with the boys. I'm super excited for the next two days.

Tomorrow, my friend Gina from Maine is coming down, I haven;t seen her since Joe died, and am so happy that we're going to spend a day together.

On Sunday I'm going to an all day writing workshop through a writing group in Boston. I'm going to have an entire day to write! What could be better? Oh, wait! I know the answer to that! On Sunday night the Academy Awards are on! Who do you think will win?

-b

Post Interrupted

I was starting to post a picture of option two for counters
I got this far

when I got a phone call from Brooklyn's pet walker
While Brooklyn was at playgroup in a park
some nutjob guy walked up to her with a metal bar
and started hitting her in the head!
he knocked her unconscious
and the dog walker rushed her to the pet ER
She has since woken up, but had convulsions
when she first came to
she has been there all afternoon
but will hopefully be coming home tonight
The nutjob is on the run,
but the police are looking for him.
Poor Brookie.

-b

p.s. what do you think of the counter?

p.p.s. I don't think either one are showing accurately on the blog.

p.p.p.s. I really love this one.

p.p.p.p.s. I may not be able to afford it now that I have to pay for the ER.

Please Vote

Since I value your opinions so greatly
I would love for you to weigh in on
my new kitchen counters

I found one that I love
Tell me your thoughts

This is my current laminate counter top
It is ugly and outdated
This is the granite that I picked out
What do you think? Be honest, b/c I need to pick something good for resale,
as we don't plan on staying here more than a few more years.
a view from afar
the color of my dining room is the same
as the color in the kitchen

backsplash?
The colored diamonds would be in the stone, not sticking out
and the stone would be 4x4 not 1x1

-b