Meeting The Principal
On the advice of Jacob's preschool teachers, I am meeting with his soon to be principal this Wednesday afternoon. I just wanted to tell her a bit of Jacob's background, and explain to her that he's very quiet and shy, and that he can easily get lost in a crowd. I also plan on telling her about his slight obsession with death, and his sensitivity towards certain subjects.
When I told T that I made an appointment, he immediately asked for the time and location.
"Oh, you want to come with me?" I asked.
"Of course. Why wouldn't I be there?"
I had mixed feelings about him coming with me, and I explained them to Mel later that day.
While I am thrilled that T is taking such an interest in Jacob's future. And I am thrilled that he sees himself in the role of Jacob's step-father, I am going in as a widow, and am planning on talking about how the loss of his father has shaped Jacob's personality in some ways. How will it look if I'm there with my boyfriend? Won't that negate everything?
Mel reminded me that no, that doesn't change anything. Jacob's father still died at the age of 31. Jacob's father still died when Jacob was only 10 months old. Jacob's loss is still Jacob's loss, despite the fact that T is now a part of his life. If anything, the principal will be happy to see that Jacob's mom has a supportive boyfriend who cares about Jacob's school experience as much as she does.
And she is right, of course. T belongs at this meeting, and Jacob deserves to have a meeting about him.
-b
When I told T that I made an appointment, he immediately asked for the time and location.
"Oh, you want to come with me?" I asked.
"Of course. Why wouldn't I be there?"
I had mixed feelings about him coming with me, and I explained them to Mel later that day.
While I am thrilled that T is taking such an interest in Jacob's future. And I am thrilled that he sees himself in the role of Jacob's step-father, I am going in as a widow, and am planning on talking about how the loss of his father has shaped Jacob's personality in some ways. How will it look if I'm there with my boyfriend? Won't that negate everything?
Mel reminded me that no, that doesn't change anything. Jacob's father still died at the age of 31. Jacob's father still died when Jacob was only 10 months old. Jacob's loss is still Jacob's loss, despite the fact that T is now a part of his life. If anything, the principal will be happy to see that Jacob's mom has a supportive boyfriend who cares about Jacob's school experience as much as she does.
And she is right, of course. T belongs at this meeting, and Jacob deserves to have a meeting about him.
-b
1 comment:
I understand your concerns but T is right that he should come along. He is the "father" that Jacob knows. My daughter expects her step-dad to be at school functions and meetings with teachers but she is not confused about who her dad is. She has two.
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