The Object of My Affection

You all know how much I love T
You know that he makes me happier than
I ever thought possible
and that
I hope to spend my life with him

but
I have another object of affection
and his name
is Loweded Wookie

Don't be thrown off
by the fact that
he shows his finger up his nose
on his blog

Don't be thrown off
by the fact
that he'd prefer to live
without electricity
and running water

He's actually one of the most
sensitive guys
on the face of the planet
He even sent me
a birthday ecard
last year on my birthday
when I was stood up by NB

He also started Gulliver's Travels
the little bear that's travelling
around the world
trying to make people happy

He started a new blog
and you can find it here
tell him b sent you

-b

Spinning


The secret to my success
(if you can call it that)

I still have a long way to go
about 50 more pounds
but I have gotten off to
a pretty good start
down 17 pounds today

How am I doing it?
I'm eating less
a lot less
and I'm working out more
a lot more

that's it

Today I added a spinning class
to my regime
It was hard
I sweat like I've never sweat before

We supposedly biked for 21 miles
and my butt is super sore
but I loved it
I could feel the weight coming off
and it made me spin harder

can't wait to do it again

-b

EKG Update

I don't have one
The hospital messed up
and forgot to send off
Jacob's EKG
So it has not yet
been read
I'll let you know
when I know

-b

EKG

Do you remember back in January when Jacob passed out?
Well, it happened again two weeks ago. He was eating a Popsicle and complained that it was too cold. I told him to spit it out, but before he could, he passed out and fell off his chair. I picked him up and he let out this guttural sound. I started to call 911, but before I could finish, he had come to. I called his pedi instead, who calmed me down and told me that this happens to some kids. Just to be safe, he is having an ekg today. I will let you know how it goes.

On another note, I've lost 16 pounds!

-b

I Want To Die

No, not me. I have no desire to die. I'm loving life, in fact. Except for this past week when I was pretty sick. I may have had the flu, but if not I had something similar. Fever, chills, achy bones. I think those symptoms led me to take the blog break that I took. Tonight I was walking Brooklyn on m y nightly walk, and had a realization that I was finally feeling better. You know how when you're sick you forget what it feels like to feel well? Is it just me that that happens to? When I'm feeling my worst, I literally can't remember what it feels like to feel well. Anyways, tonight I was walking and realized that I felt well again. And I was so happy. And I thought about the blog, and realized that I have a ton to say!

So back to the title. Jacob has been talking about death lately. In fact he tells me on a daily basis that he wants to die. Why? Because he wants to be with daddy. Of course at four, he has no idea that death is permanent, and I am not worried about him hurting himself. All he knows is daddy is dead, and he wants to see daddy. Therefore, he wants to die.

This makes for a daily heartbreaking talk. At this point I think Jacob says it because he likes the attention he gets for saying it. But I don't ever want to be dismissive of it, ya know? I tell him that when you die you never come back, so he's not allowed to die until he's very very old. I also tell him that daddy is with him in everything he does, even though he can't physically see him.

Any other suggestions?

Taking a Break

I'm not sure how long
I'll be gone for
but I need to take a break
from blogging

While I'm having
a great summer
I don't feel like
I have anything of interest
to share

Does anyone care
that I've lost another 2 pounds?
Because that's all I've got
for you

I am sure that when school
starts up again
I will have plenty to share

But for now
I'm going to say
goodbye

I'll be back
I promise
So please check in
every now and then

Who knows?
Maybe I'll be back next week
all inspired

If T should decide
to propose
this summer
I will be sure to
post it here

I hope you all know
how much you
mean to me

Until later

With love

b

Dear Joshua,

Today you are three years old! How is that even possible? You are a child like no other. You are incredibly funny, with a sense of humor far beyond your age. You love to play with your brother and friends. You love watching construction sites, and think that the school being built down the street is your construction site. You can (and do) name every type of truck you see while we are driving, and you expect (demand) praise for noticing them.

Joshie, you have had a hard time controlling your emotions lately. You have temper tantrums beyond what I have ever experienced with tantrums. Sometimes they last for an entire hour! Hopefully you will find a new way to express your frustrations soon.

You are an amazing snuggler. You love to lie with me and have me sing to you. You have yet to learn that I can't carry a tune. You love to sing as well. You turn regular conversations into songs all the time, and sing at any given opportunity. Today, for example, you sang to the tune of Frere Jaque (No idea how to spell it), "I don't like mommy, I don't like mommy, no I don't, no I don't."

You are a fabulous eater. You eat almost anything presented to you, and you still want more. You love fruit more than sweets, and choose yogurt over chocolate. Clearly, I have no influence over you!

Josh, you bring such joy to everyone who meets you. You are a singer, a dancer, a dump truck driver, a friend, a comic, a snuggler, a dog walker, a climber, a bike rider, a puzzle solver, a smiler, an amazing little boy.

Happy 3rd Birthday, Joshua!

love,
Mommy

Life

This summer is moving too quickly
I'm loving it
More than you can imagine

I've lost 8 pounds
according to weight watchers
but 10 pounds
according to my scale

My days are relaxing
but I'm working out hard

Life with T
is mostly good
We are both adjusting to
so much together time

The boys are loving camp
but not loving
swimming lessons

My sister spent the weekend here
and will be back on Friday
for another weekend

Next Wednesday
will be spent at Owen's pool
Anyone want to join me?

-b

Ingredients for a Perfect Pirate Party

1 amazing birthday cake
2 types of of delicious barbecued food and 6 side dishes

1 pool borrowed from Chris (Thanks Chris!) big enough for all the kids, with a pirate plank attached to it.

2 cute pirates (only one is pictured here)

1 adorable niece held by my sister1 sleeping nephew
9 types of alcohol


1 amazing friend who is willing to dress like, speak like, and act like a pirate all day long to the delight of all the party goers

This was quite the party. A huge thank you to all who came and all who helped plan and execute.

-b

Advice Needed

J & J are having their birthday party this weekend. The party has a pirate theme. It's going to be great because I have an amazing birthday party planner (mel!) There are going to be lots of pirate activities including a treasure hunt.

As you know, the boys started camp last week. They have both made some new friends and Jacob has become very good friends with a little girl. He keeps asking me to invite this little girl to the party, and I'm all for it.

But there is one problem.

This little girl has something wrong with her eye. She wears an eye patch over it.

Will it be an insult to invite her to a pirate party where we are giving out pretend eye patches? Or will she be excited to see everyone else wearing one too? And do I tell her mom in advance, or let her find out upon arrival?

See my dilemma? Thoughts? Opinions? Is anyone still here?

-b

p.s. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JRowe!

Writing

My writing group officially ended last Wednesday, but we all enjoyed it so much, we are going to continue meeting on our own at our homes. I'm so happy about this because I have loved writing group! This is also giving me a chance to keep working on my story while gaining valuable feedback. One suggestion my group had for me was to write all in the present tense instead of the past tense. So I am trying that, but am finding that there is a ridiculous amount of dialogue involved, and am not so sure how exciting dialogue is to read. So we'll see.

That's all I've got for now. Dinner went well. Everyone got along. I stuck to my diet. Life is still good.

Hope you all had a great weekend.

love,
b

Quick Update

We're having a great visit with T's parents. It's been fun, and the boys have been thrilled with all the attention they've been receiving.

I've lost 7 pounds since last Monday! Holy crap! I've been doing weight watchers, and working out with a personal trainer. It feels so good to see those numbers dropping each day, and I have the motivation that I need to keep it up.

Life is good....

-b

Guess Who's Coming For a Weekend Visit?

T's Parents!
They arrive tomorrow afternoon
They leave Sunday afternoon
They are staying in our house
Oh boy!

Oh, and we're all (no kids) haveing dinner at my parents' house Saturday night
That should be interesting
Wish me luck!

-b

Gotta Love Jacob

Scene: kitchen floor, everyone is putting on shoes for the day.

Jacob:Mommy, why are you putting on sneakers?

me: Because I'm going to the gym.

J: Why are you going to the gym?

me: Because I want to get in shape.

J: (lips quivering, tears rolling) But Momma, what shape will you be?

-b

Ugh

Were you getting sick of all my happy posts? Well then, you're in luck. After a really great weekend, including eating freshly caught by T lobsters for dinner last night (he has a lobster license), I decided to step on the scale this morning.

My first personal training workout is this morning, and I'm starting weight watchers this week, so I thought it was time to see for myself how fat I really am.

I am not going to share with you what I weigh. But I will tell you that I weigh more than I did 9 months pregnant. Ugh. How did I let this happen? I feel like I have so much to lose it's almost not worth trying. Ugh.

-b

Vacation So Far....

Yesterday we had a great visit from my friend Nikki, and her two daughters. We had a mock birthday party for the boys since they (along with everyone) will be away when the real party occurs. They even brought cupcakes for dessert. When it was time to light the candles and sing happy birthday, Josh asked "What about party hats?" So they made party hats.

Today we went to a strawberry festival with a group of friends. It felt like apple picking weather. It was just perfect. Here are some pictures:

Tonight is Girls Night Out in honor of JRowe's return to the Boston area. I volunteered to be the driver so that I won't have a repeat of the other night! Hope everyone is having a great weekend!

-b

Summer Vacation Has Officially Begun!

and I'm already hungover
this is not a good start..

-b

edited for clarification: It was a perfect way to end the school year. Our school knows how to throw a party like no other. But perhaps I should not have had 8 shots? Or maybe cut back on the 4 margaritas? Because it is hard to be productive today, and I had many goals that are not getting met. But it was a fun party.

With Summer Here, How Shall I spend My Time?

With school ending tomorrow at 12:05 pm, you may be wondering what my summer plans are. Be prepared to be jealous. Yes, you just might actually feel a twang of jealousy when you read what I have in store for myself.

The boys are going to be attending day camp. I know, I know, they are a little young for day camp. But It's part of their preschool. It's cheaper for me to send them to the year round program, instead of the school year program. So since I'm paying for them to go during the summer, they will be going during the summer.

They will be gone from 8-4 Monday-Friday. I know. You're feeling a little jealous, aren't you? Now before you accuse me of being a bad mom, the boys are going to love camp. They have swimming lessons every day, nature, music, art, etc. They will be with friends, and will be getting exercise. It's good for them.

As for me, I am beyond excited to have 8 weeks of days to myself. The preschool is at a local JCC, so after I drop the boys off, I am going to work out at the gym. I've even scheduled 4 personal training sessions to get me started. (The 4 sessions are free)

Once I get home from the gym, I will shower, straighten up the house, and write. I will hopefully get in an hour or two of writing a day.

After I pick the boys up, we'll play with our neighborhood friends, takes baths, have dinner, and take our nightly walk with the dog.

This is my plan. I know. You're jealous. It's OK. :O)

-b

I made it...

This was the most challenging school year of my 10 year career. These kids tested me every chance they got. They questioned my every direction, and interrupted my every word. Some students chose to speak only in bird, or cat. Some refused to budge from fetal position on the rug. Some took up belching as a pastime.

This class made me cry almost nightly in frustration for the first 5 months of school. They frustrated me to the point of feeling like quitting. They made me turn into a teacher who yells, and threatens.

Why is it then, that I am tearing up thinking of saying goodbye to this crew? Strangely enough, I have grown to love them. Even stranger, I will actually miss them. All of them. Even "bird girl."

Go figure.

-b

The Card

The card went over well
it was one of those
"Like a father" cards

You know,
thanks for being
"like a father to me"

and I asked j&J
what they liked most about T
and wrote down their answers
(pretty funny ones)

I had the card sitting on T's pillow when he came in the
room from taking a shower

He read it
and I said
"Happy Like A Father's Day!"

He responded,
"we need to remedy the like part"

Happy Father's Day!