A Letter To Joe On His Birthday
Dear Joe,
Tomorrow you would have turned 35 years old. It still seems crazy to me that I am now two years older than you ever got the chance to be.
Tomorrow the boys and I will visit you at the cemetery. We will bring cards and gummy bears. We would bring a cake, but you never were a fan of traditional desserts. You much preferred a giant bag of sour patch kids to a thick slice of chocolate cake. Joshua takes after you in that regard. I've even introduced him to your favorite of all foods, the cheesy poof.
I've shared with both boys your master plan to write a book on cheese puffs (cheesy poofs as you called them.) Remember that plan? You were going to drive across the country and sample each states version of the cheese puff. Of course you never would have actually done it, but you made me laugh every single time you shared your master plan. The boys love hearing the plan as well.
They still talk about you all the time. Do you hear them? They want to know where you are, when you're coming back, how you can see them, when they will get to see you, but mostly they want to know who you were.
I tell them the craziest stories I can come up with. When we go to visit Becca in NYC we always share with the boys your eating tour of her street. "First daddy got a slice of pizza, then he got a glazed donut, then he ate fried chicken, then he had a terrible belly ache." They love that story.
If you can see the boys you know that Jacob looks just like you. It's evident in every pore of his being that you are his father. He still loves to hear the song you sang to him as a baby, and you would be super proud of his burping abilities.
Your boys are smart, funny and curious. All qualities they get from you. They miss you terribly and would love nothing more than to share some cheesy poofs with you.
If you can see me, you know that I'm happy, and in a good place. I have no doubt that you'd want anything less for me. While some may have issues with the fact that I am in love with someone new and claim to still love and miss you, I know you get it.
If you see us tomorrow, give us a little shout out. Let us smell a cigar burning, or see something super cool.
You are missed. You are loved. And you always will be.
love,
b
Tomorrow you would have turned 35 years old. It still seems crazy to me that I am now two years older than you ever got the chance to be.
Tomorrow the boys and I will visit you at the cemetery. We will bring cards and gummy bears. We would bring a cake, but you never were a fan of traditional desserts. You much preferred a giant bag of sour patch kids to a thick slice of chocolate cake. Joshua takes after you in that regard. I've even introduced him to your favorite of all foods, the cheesy poof.
I've shared with both boys your master plan to write a book on cheese puffs (cheesy poofs as you called them.) Remember that plan? You were going to drive across the country and sample each states version of the cheese puff. Of course you never would have actually done it, but you made me laugh every single time you shared your master plan. The boys love hearing the plan as well.
They still talk about you all the time. Do you hear them? They want to know where you are, when you're coming back, how you can see them, when they will get to see you, but mostly they want to know who you were.
I tell them the craziest stories I can come up with. When we go to visit Becca in NYC we always share with the boys your eating tour of her street. "First daddy got a slice of pizza, then he got a glazed donut, then he ate fried chicken, then he had a terrible belly ache." They love that story.
If you can see the boys you know that Jacob looks just like you. It's evident in every pore of his being that you are his father. He still loves to hear the song you sang to him as a baby, and you would be super proud of his burping abilities.
Your boys are smart, funny and curious. All qualities they get from you. They miss you terribly and would love nothing more than to share some cheesy poofs with you.
If you can see me, you know that I'm happy, and in a good place. I have no doubt that you'd want anything less for me. While some may have issues with the fact that I am in love with someone new and claim to still love and miss you, I know you get it.
If you see us tomorrow, give us a little shout out. Let us smell a cigar burning, or see something super cool.
You are missed. You are loved. And you always will be.
love,
b
8 comments:
Joe is watching and Joe is proud. You are doing an amazing job keeping his memory alive for the boys. :o)M
"..but mostly they want to know who you were."
I'm happy to help with that part, if you ever want it.
You know I mean when they are older right?
You are missed. You are loved. And you always will be.
Amen. You do know the corollary to that, Betsy, right?
You are missed. (Yes, I believe our beloved spouses miss us.) You are loved. And you always will be.
Brett, I'm counting on it.
Alicia ans Mel, thanks.
Happy Birthday Joe..we will smoke a cigar for you...N and S
It's amazing how much of a happier and lighter tone this letter is compared to your writing a year or more ago. You've really come such a long long way in your grieving. It's an amazing process to witness. Of course you miss Joe terribly but you sound truly happy. :)
Um, what is this, cry when reading B's blog week?
What a touching, amazing post.
Happy birthday, Joe.
I remember Joe sharing his cheesy poof idea.
I thought to myself... wow, she married an interesting guy: ) Happy Birthday to Joe.
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